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One notable declared that the ‘man’ must be French. He had seen drawings in newspapers depicting Frenchmen, who were shown to be small, hairy, stunted, and weasel faced, akin to the ‘man’ now standing before them. Further proof, if needed, was the unintelligible, French, language the ‘man ‘was speaking. His companions nodded in agreement.The unfortunate animal was taken before a magistrate, who concurred with their assumption, and charged the ‘man’ with being a French spy. A swift trial was followed by an equally rapid execution. As the monkey danced to its death on a rope the Hartlepudlians congratulated themselves on preserving the sanctity of England from the machinations of the dastardly French.It was a visiting merchant, from the much more sophisticated town of Sunderland, who identified the ‘French spy’ as a monkey, and the news of the Hartlepudlians’ foolishness and ignorance soon spread throughout the county, and beyond.“Well, I thought the men of Scunthorpe were stupid, but. ’ were the only words exchanged as he let her out the door. When Oscar called the next day he dutifully inquired as to how she was without mentioning their encounter the day before. ‘I’ll be okay.’ Selena said softly while trying not to break out in tears. Oscar coaxed her into a brief conversation before finally finishing with. ‘We gonna be alright, sweetheart. Don’t you worry. I’m gonna be here for you.’ and with that he ended the conversation by promising to call her again later. The first night after the encounter Selena lay awake beside her husband while silently recounting the breaking of her wedding vows in her mind. Even though their sex was far from satisfactory Selena was feeling terrible that she had not kept her side of the bargain. At the same time she was being remorseful, memories of Oscars large muscular body against hers kept reoccurring. As more days passed the remorse diminished and were replaced with the memories of Oscars body on her own. So it wasn’t.
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